Rediscovering the Gift Economy

(Or) The Internet Before It Became a Capitalist Hellscape

The year is 1999.

Every morning I sit down at a computer that looks roughly like this:

You’ve Got Mail, 1998.

And I engage with an Internet that is much different than our own. Rather than being served up content from various data mining corporate entities I am very intentional with how I spend my time.

1. I doodle while listening to this insufferable sound as I waited for the Internet to load.

2. Log into Wotmania and check the message boards. (Every single day.)

3. Check my email - hosted through the local phone company. There were so few messages each one was actually exciting.

4. Visit other websites by “surfing the web” either from website to website through hyperlinks or typing very specific and intentional search terms into search engines. When I found something I loved I would bookmark it to come back to.

5. Join a virtual scavenger hunt called Cyber Surfari where search engine Lycos partnered with various collaborators to hide clues across websites for participants to find. It was sponsored by Discovery Channel, Hewlet Packard, and National Education Association. The time I spent participating in Cyber Surfari had an outsized impact on my ability to find what I’m looking for online.

4. When I did find what I wanted I often printed it out. One printout I still have in the attic is Lewis Carrol’s Eight or Nine Wise Words About Letter Writing. I also printed quotes and images (rarely because ink was expensive) for my actual cork board.

6. Log into NaNoWriMo message boards every day of October and November.

6. Save drafts of my novel on 3 1/2 floppy disks.*

The smallest of these 3 and the only floppy disk which wasn’t actually floppy. We used the larger kind when I was a kid. Source.

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The Internet wasn’t “better” but it was more intentional.

Furthermore, what we’ve gained in image resolution and loading times we’ve lost in connection. Those early days of the Internet it felt like a playground of possibility. Websites weren’t easy to monetize yet.

Everything on the Internet was a labor of love.

Writing, images, even software was given freely.

No one was using click bait because the structures that favored clicks weren’t yet created. Websites were shared and linked to because users found them interesting or funny.

Over the last 6 months I’ve done a deep dive into the “early” Internet.

I took over 10,000 words of notes from various articles and books (which you can trawl here). I have more than enough to write a scholarly article. But now that I’m here I don’t really care to use them.

It’s not about pointing with forensic clarity at the moment the Internet “changed.”

(But I am wondering… when did we stop capitalizing it?)

There was no single moment of corruption. Over time capitalism did capitalism. Spaces became monetizable and websites with a lot of traffic began to monetize.

There are definitely benefits. Artists & makers & authors can find new audiences and patrons can support creators to keep doing what they love.

But there’s also * waves hands * the rest of the garbage that came with monetization. The algorithms, the data collection, the noise, the click bait, the paywalls, the walled gardens, the misinformation, and the rise of reactionary content.

Most of the time the Internet feels like this:

Broadsheet of Fire in Sky from 1560. Source.

But it didn’t always.

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The early Internet was a gift economy.

Because there wasn’t a robust system of monetization the incentive you had to create online was to contribute to a growing gift economy.

There was a culture of creating to share with others - from flashing GIFs, to “seamless” tiled backgrounds, to fan message boards. Artists and coders made free wallpapers and screensavers and even free software called “freeware.” I was part of a “sig tag” group where members used fonts and clip art to make signatures you could attach to “sign” your email. We’d type in each member’s name (around 15-20) and email the image files for the group.

You gave your time and energy and others were generous in return. It wasn’t barter or trade. No one was keeping a tally of how much each person contributed. But there was an overwhelming spirit of generosity and reciprocity.

Over the last year I’ve reconnected to the Wheel of Time fandom.

Coming from the “creative entrepreneur” corner of the Internet it has been a complete culture shock (of the best kind.) And it reminds me of my early days online. It’s no coincidence that this fandom has been around since the early days of the Internet on forums like Theoryland and Dragonmount.

14 Blue Wheel of Time Books (image credit: Juniper Books)

The Wheel of Time fandom still functions in a gift economy.

For most of us it is not a job. It’s our passion. Among this fandom I have seen a depth of generosity that seems unfathomable.

A gift economy functions because when you feel the warmth of generosity you want to contribute. When you walk into a new space and are welcomed you turn and welcome the next person. When you see someone create a cool fanwork you want to join in.

I wrote a bit about this last August.

One year later, I’ve found clarity.

I cannot continue to pivot between these paradigms anymore.

It’s dizzying.

I want to engage in the Internet as a gift economy.

I have no interest in selling art, content, memberships, or courses. Every time I have charged for this kind of content it has felt like I am pulled off course. I’ll continue writing and selling books, but I have no intention to leave my day job and become a “full time” writer. That allows me to make what I want without focusing on creating content that “converts to sales.”

I don’t begrudge anyone who chooses a different path.

If you’re a full time artist be a full time artist. I love that for you. I support lots of creatives online and will continue to do so.

But if the capitalist framework isn’t sitting well for you there is another way.

Your art isn’t any less valuable if you gift it.

Is a handsewn quilt less valuable than a bedspread from Pottery Barn?

Of course not.

We need to stop letting the dominant culture brainwash us into undervaluing the gift exchange.

What if we treated the Internet as a communally tended garden?

Or a fermenting compost heap?

---

But how would that work?

To be fair, this is early 90’s, but I had to shoutout my show Ghostwriter.

Let’s Internet like it’s 1999

1. Create from your passion. Forget everything you’ve been told about offering value, funneling customers, and capturing eyeballs. Be authentically you and I guarantee that will resonate with someone.

2. Give freely. I’m not going to begrudge you a shop or a paywall, but if you want to Internet like it’s 1999 most of what you offer is going to be for free. When you give freely people will want to support you when they have the opportunity to do so. A lot of the people harping on about funnels actually built their careers over decades of working for free. But they can’t sell you a $$$ marketing course for that.

3. Spend your time and energy engaging with, appreciating, and sharing work that other people make. You are not the main character of this story. It is about us all.

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Time to walk the walk

I’m in the process of removing the paywall here on Substack.

This month I’ve unlocked another session of Camp Kindle. (Last month I unlocked the Wonder session.) I created both of these for adults, but I’ve heard families really love doing the activities together.

Vintage Photograph of Girl Scouts filling water bucket at camp. To my memory this was scanned from my personal collection and is archived here.

If you’d like to support my work you caN:

• Leave a comment!

• Share my work.

• Pledge $3+ on Patreon or Substack.

• Buy my book.

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Let’s Discuss

To everyone: How can we create spaces of reciprocity and connection in an online world that wants us to see each other as a “target audience”? How do we reframe the value of our work outside of capitalism?

To creative business owners: How can we make our businesses less extractive? How might we contribute to a gift economy alongside work that we do charge for?

Cheers,

P.S. If you missed last month I’ve decided to remove the paywall and send snail mail to my paying supporters instead. You can read that here.

** Personally I experienced the crush of change online between 2013 and 2016 (which incidentally is the time we stopped capitalizing the Internet… maybe there is something there.)

*** To bring more intentionality into my own Internet experience I’m spending more time on RSS and less time on apps, using Ecosia instead of Google (the AI snippets are killing me), and burrowing into my cozy Discord groups.

Rekindling a Note Taking Practice

I’ve always loved note taking.

Even as a kid I would collect notes and information, magazine pages, booklets. I think it’s something of a neurodivergent impulse. Autistic folks often love collecting things and I’ve only just realized that part of that drive for me is in collecting information. I love learning things, but I also love cataloguing what I’m learning.

(Important to note this is not a universal love among autistics. There are a lot of different ways our passions and interests can show up.)

Through the years I’ve tried on different styles of note taking, but I’ve always loved the idea of a centralized system. The problem is I kept trying on other people’s systems and they were never the quite right fit.

Recently, I’ve been working out how to create my ideal note taking system.

A caution, dear reader, not to try and recreate my own system for yourself. But I hope by sharing this it can shatter some misconceptions about research and note taking and open up the realm of possibilities to you.

If you’ve been around for a while you’ll notice this is kind of an amalgamation of several different note taking projects I have had. Gathering up everything under one roof as it were. Over the years I have tried: physical notebooks, file folders, the Pocket app, Evernote app, traveler’s notebooks, blog posts, podcasts, Notion, and finally a library card catalogue drawer. Each of those attempts was, in a way, trying to create a system that I saw outside of myself and they were all too rigid.

My new system is a digital analogue hybrid.

I love handwriting notes. Typing them. Shuffling around papers. For years my ideal system (the one of my university mentor) was a series of matching composition notebooks. (1)

Then it was digital. I went “all in” on Evernote and it didn’t take long to reach the threshold where they wanted to charge a monthly fee. I think I was between degrees at this point and couldn’t imagine paying for that so I pivoted back to paper again.

Austin Kleon blogged about commonplace books and I was hooked. I tried to create a color coded indexing system. I tried numerical systems.

The trouble with notebooks is no matter what kind of system you use it can be hard to find what you’ve recorded in the past. (2)

After a while I gave up on that and started sharing monthly updates on Patreon. A round up of everything I’ve read, watched, or listened to with some of my favorite quotes.

I always circle back to physical though. Early 2019 I tried a physical notebook to document what I wanted to share to Patreon. This was shortly before Davy was born and it quickly went out the window.

But the digital format survived. It lives on Substack as my Down the Rabbit Hole updates.

The trouble is when I’m really in research collecting mode I have more than I can reasonably share in this format. And it’s also not easily search-able.

So in 2020 I started a Notion. That also has stuck with me, but there are some caveats.

• It’s a third party app that could disappear or start charging at any moment.

• And I haven’t kept up with cataloguing the details like I did in the beginning and it’s starting to become a bit of a tangled mess.

Part of the problem is I created this system when Davy was still napping in my lap a lot. So I had ages to poke around on my phone. Now I have other things to do and this type of cataloguing is not at my top of priorities. Here’s a screenshot where you can see I no longer take the time to fill out “by” and “type” which are kind of essential when it comes to finding what I’m looking for.)

So I swing back analogue…

When Davy started school I read yet another book about note taking and I fell in love with the idea of writing or typing up all my notes on index cards in my “free time.” But Davy was only in school for half days and by the time you take the commute into account I was lucky to get a couple of hours each day. I spent most of them writing a book and making art.

Now we’re home educating so it’s all a muddle of life and creativity without any clearly delineated “studio time.

If you’re neurodivergent you may have a similar cycle…

Get excited by a project.

Find a creative spark to create a system.

Abandon system.

Feel guilty.

But something was different this time around.

In all of the research about neurodiversity and autism to support David I am learning to support myself. And to reframe my perceived “deficits” as differences.

Instead of feeling guilty I got curious.

Why did some methods work better than others? What would really work best for me?

When I switched up my Substack schedule I freed up some mental bandwidth.

That extra capacity is really key here. I rarely innovate when I’m at capacity.

The second magic ingredient was playing around.

I was reading a new book and wanted to take notes. Instead of using Notion I followed my impulse and wrote them up on index cards. I knew it wasn’t something I could maintain, but I did it anyway.

Kids Speak Image, Lynda Barry, September 20, 2023

Meanwhile I’d been thinking about how to document and share content in a more casual way online. The weekly Substack posts had been too time consuming, but I knew if I slowed my publishing schedule to monthly (or even fortnightly) I would have so much I wanted to share and document in the in between.

Then Austin Kleon linked to his Tumblr. I played around with a Tumblr account for a couple weeks and fell in love with the ease of it.

1. Find something lovely.

2. Share it.

3. Type in some tags.

It didn’t take long for me to see the caveats though.

Mostly I was still creating content for someone else’s machine. Tumblr is old (in internet years) and who knows how long it will be around. Also, people started seeing and liking my posts and I was afraid I might start feeling social media feels about the value of posts based on their engagement.

But there were also things I loved about it! One of which was how visual it was! My brain loves scrolling through a visual archive versus something that looks like a giant excel sheet (no offense Notion.)

What I needed was a private Tumblr. Somewhere I could archive notes, images, even videos or podcasts. With a simple tagging system.

Enter the microblog.

I’m not sure how long it took me to realize that I could just make this on my own website.

Not a blog, but a microblog. My blog is a place to share long form writing with other people. Whereas this microblog is a collection of bits and bobs. A place to archive research and document my creative process as a tool for myself. Which I might sometimes point to.

Typographic Ornaments, Chronofile, October 12, 2023

I love it.

It feels like such a simple way to make a visual record of my thoughts and ideas. If you scroll through it’s essentially like taking a peek inside my brain. What am I reading? What am I thinking about? What was the obsession of the day?

I am fascinated by the process of ideas unfolding and layering and coming alive. It’s something I’m always unraveling when I look at other people’s work and it’s part of why I love following artists and creators online. (3)

What I got stuck on was the name. At first I called it scraps, but that didn’t really fit. Eventually I realized the answer had been there all along.

Welcome to the Chronofile

Sometime along the way I started calling my notes “The Chronofile.” You can see the hashtag in early Instagram posts and a note taking folder on Notion.

The name come from one of my creative muses - Buckminster Fuller.

He was a brilliant inventor and artist and writer and is known largely as the creator of the geodesic dome. I could go on and on about him (and I probably will some other time) but for now I’ll explain that he too was an obsessive notetaker. He documented everyday of his life in something he called the Dymaxion Chronofile. His file includes “more than 140,000 papers and 1,700 hours of audio and video” (all of which are archived in physical form and take up 1,400 linear feet.) (4)

Google Search results for “dymaxion chronofile” December 4, 2023

All the more reason to go digital! I do not have that kind of space. 😂

But there’s something about analogue.

Writing things down engages a different part of the brain than typing. (5)

Not to mention the physical record and embodied act of moving around notes and seeing them in visual conversation with each other.

What I happened upon by writing those notes about Lynda Barry’s books was that I can have the best of both worlds.

Physical notecards of my favorite quotes - in a card catalogue drawer, and a searchable digital archive - hosted on my own website.

I can easily type up notes on my phone (using the Squarespace app) and then later jot them down or type them onto a card for my physical file. This also adds a layer of curation for my physical chronofile.

It also means the letter and number codes (used above) are largely irrelevant due to the search-ability of my digital chronofile. Which is quite a relief because they never felt natural - just another outside system I was trying to use to reinvent the wheel. Why create analogue reference systems when digital search does that so easily?

I fully accept this process will shift and change. But what I’m trying to do is to utilize the best features of each medium.

Analogue for muscle memory. For embodiment. For serendipitous connections. And for aesthetic share-ability.

Digital for search-ability. For time lord technology (fitting a lot in quite a small physical space). And for the ability to include photos, videos, and audio files.

Embracing my inner Magpie

The real delight here is that scaling back my Substack publishing schedule has freed up bandwidth to rekindle my passion for research.

From deep dives into artist communities like Black Mountain College and the Arts & Crafts Movement to the mundane history of tenterhooks and typesetting.

On Tenterhooks, Chronofile, October 27, 2023

This hybrid system feels in alignment with my brain and the way it works and that makes all the difference.

The Saga Continues

One of the coolest things about Substack (or blogs) is that you can update posts as you have more information. Here’s a space I’m creating to do that as I evolve my note taking practice.

2/9/24: I’m experimenting with adapting this method to Obsidian. It resolves a few problems I was having with the Squarespace app and hosts everything locally instead of using my web hosting space. I may still use the Chronofile on my website occasionally as a microblog, but I’ve taken it off the site navigation for now.

I’ll be honest I was drawn in by the constellation visuals (these are called graphs.) I saw this twitter thread from Morgan Harper Nichols and was immediately enchanted.

My own graphs are still small for now, but it’s cool seeing how ideas connect.

There are lots of aesthetic reasons I’m really enjoying the app, but from a practical side it makes sense too. Instead of uploading your data into an app you’re creating text files and nesting folders on your own computer.

This means if Obsidian goes defunct you’ll still have all of your notes.

And that’s the main reason I’m transitioning away from Notion.

The stars are just a bonus. 💫

Still here? You must be a creative kindred.

How do you collect notes and information?

Do you prefer analogue or digital or a bit of both?

Thanks for being here.

FOOTNOTES

1.

I might have stuck with this one for simplicity sake, but around this time the paper and binding quality of composition notebooks went right down. I still remember the gummy goo of one particular notebook binding that peeled up. *shudders*

2.

At least it is for me. Kudos to you if you’ve figured it out.

3.

After watching every single one of the Vlogbrother’s videos I finally read John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars. And it felt like reading a book by a friend. I could see all of the random obsessions he’d had over the years come together in his book. The same for Hank Green’s An Absolutely Remarkable Thing.

4.

Dymaxion Chronofile: an archive of nearly every day of Buckminster Fuller's life. Atlas Obscura. July 11, 2013.

5.

Study shows stronger brain activity after writing on paper than on tablet or smartphone, University of Tokyo, March 19 2021.

A wind rose in Charleston, South Carolina. 🍃

“The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning.”

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Last week I went on a creative pilgrimage to South Carolina.

• I visited a library.

• I saw a tree.

• I met up with my “book club.”1

That’s the easy to digest version.

The facts, if you will.

But this trip was not about facts. It was about metaphysics.

For the uninitiated, metaphysics is:

“the branch of philosophy that deals with the first principles of things, including abstract concepts such as being, knowing, substance, cause, identity, time, and space.”2

This journey was about all of these things in a really intricate and profound way.

But first, let’s take a step back into the late 90s.

Observe Sarah, who has fallen asleep on the bed with a dictionary. Again. To the side of the bed is a stack of large thick blue books and several notebooks. If you thumbed through the notebooks you’d find clumsily written facts and lists of names.

Or carefully calligraphed prophecies.

At this point in my life I had no concept of neurodivergence or autism. But I had fallen for the deepest special interest of my life. When I wasn’t doing schoolwork or working I was thinking about these books.

The Wheel of Time.

I’ve written about this before, but it’s almost impossible to get across how important these books are to me or why. Here’s where metaphysics comes in.

There’s something about connecting with someone’s art that goes beyond the physical plane. Beyond logic.

It would be easy to say I love the characters, the genre, the use of language. That I’m drawn in by the depth of world building, the complexity of the magic system, and the sheer scope of the books. All of these things are true.3

Yet, I don’t think these are why I connect so deeply to this story.

It’s more ephemeral than that.

More metaphysical.

There’s something in me that feels seen by these books.

A sense of belonging and knowing that runs deeper than thought processes. A recognition at the soul level.4

The same feeling as when you meet a friend who just “gets it.” When the things that felt weird and unknowable about you become points of connection.

“You too? I thought it was just me.”

But it’s not just about similarities. Differences form this bond as well. And they expand your worldview. You begin to see the world through the eyes of your friend.

That is how I feel about these books. They see me and they also stretch me.

These characters were my peers. The fact that they weren’t real didn’t make their influence any less impactful.

I read these books at the height of my social anxiety. And I took away important lessons from the Aes Sedai. I saw their confidence and how they carried themselves in the world. I learned that perception can be more powerful than reality. And the that the truth you hear isn’t always the truth you think you hear.

I also saw teenagers leave their village and reshape the world. Everything felt possible.

When I finished the series I put the books on a shelf and didn’t touch them for a decade. (I talked about this a bit in my podcast chat with Morgan Harper Nichols.)

Dragon window at the carriage house Robert Jordan used to write at

I didn’t realize at the time that my interests are a tool for self regulation and a lens I use to process the world. I had no idea what function they had in my life until they were no longer there.

In 2020 I hit rock bottom.

I couldn’t cope.

Then I started re-reading The Wheel of Time.

I’d forgotten how these books made me feel. I knew I loved them. But I also enjoy other stories and books that don’t have the same resonance. These stories are different.

They are etched into my bones.

When I re-read the Wheel of Time I’m always surprised at the curious mix of what I’ve retained - the details I know as if I lived them. And what became hazy over time.

There’s always something new to notice.

And in a story of 4.4 million words and 2787 distinct named characters I suppose there would be. 5

Sometime after that re-read I also reconnected to the Wheel of Time community. I was surprised and delighted to find there were other nerds who still loved these stories as much as I do.

Even after all these years.

It felt like rediscovering part of myself that I’d forgotten existed. My joy at listening to livestreams on The Dusty Wheel was palpable.. an embodied sense of belonging. “These are my people.”

The more time I spend in this community the more incredible I realize it is.

There’s a generosity in spirit and a value in creative joy that I haven’t seen in other corners of the internet. The more I watched these people nerding out the more I knew I needed to make time and space for this in my own life.

This January I wrote down “Wheel of Time convention” and “Pilgrimage to Robert Jordan’s Notes” as long term goals. It felt impossible at the time, but also important. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine both would happen this year.

Intention invites opportunity.

After winning a ticket to WoT Con this summer one thing led to another and I signed up for Ogier Con - a small gathering of fans who were planning to make the pilgrimage to Charleston…together.

Instead of traveling alone I was destined to go there in community.

The wheel weaves as the wheel wills.

When I made it to the library I found myself reading Wheel of Time manuscripts with Matt Hatch, Tamrylin of Theoryland, Innkeeper of The Dusty Wheel.

In that moment, time collapsed in on itself. I existed in four timelines simultaneously:

• the moment I learned these notes existed

• thinking this trip was impossible

• writing the intention

• holding RJ’s notes in my own hand

Over time other hard core fan freaks joined us at the table. We’d each come with a different purpose.

The journal I used to take notes at the library.

My purpose was to study Robert Jordan’s creative process.

My curiosity about RJ’s writing process doesn’t come from a desire to replicate it. I could no more write in his particular style than you could teach a bird to swim.

But I’m learning that his process was messier and more intuitive than what I had come to accept as “the right way.” It’s given me inspiration to toss out the rule book and develop a writing process that works for me.

There’s something about the Wheel of Time that reverberates with the storyteller inside me.

It shakes my inner writer awake. I wondered if I’d feel that reading his notes. And I did. The more I learn about Robert Jordan’s writing process the more I see pieces of myself.

Don’t get me wrong. We’re wildly different people. But there are mundane similarities.

Looking at his notes I found lists. Facts, idioms, and so much research. He filled notebooks with information about plants and herbal remedies. Historical and mythological figures.

Other notebooks had a single list and the rest was empty.

(I vow never to feel guilty about abandoning notebooks again.) 😂

These were just the kind of notes I used to keep as a teenager. I had one small green notebook that was a collection of names - especially for writing.

I also have an obsession with collecting what I call colloquialisms. An interest originally sparked by their use in Robert Jordan’s writing, and expanded during my time living abroad.

For example, I love the contrast between

“I feel like I’ve been hit by a Mac truck.” (Mississippi)

and

“I feel like I’ve been pulled through a bush backwards.” (Ireland)

It’s even better with accents, trust me.

I looked up some of the phrases RJ had collected and determined they were from films. I can only imagine that he then studied those to work out how to create his own. He was an expert at this and it made his world feel rich and lived in. For example, a character who grew up in a fishing village says,

“You bore a hole in the boat and worry that it’s raining.”6

I love seeing evidence that Robert Jordan had similar drive to collect information.

There was a conspicuous lack of outlines.

Instead there were plenty of notes in a style that RJ called “rambling.”

These ramble files read almost like freewriting about the story. He seemed to craft his plot on the page. Not in an outline.

The first ramble file I read opened with a few paragraphs about Emonds Field - the houses, the economic structure, the village’s contact with the outside world (peddlers, grain traders, and gleemen.) Then he starts working through details. I love the bits where he asks himself questions or sets down two different options to consider.

“The peddler is dead(?)”7

“Tea: where does it come from?”8

“Lan falls in love with Eguene (?) or with Nyneve (?)”9

“????? the Rods of Dominion ?????”10

Many of Jordan’s early ideas are very different to what happens in the books while others remain unchanged.

I think my writing process could do with a bit more rambling on paper.

I already use freewriting to process experiences in life. So it feels like a natural fit to weave that into my storytelling.

I stayed in the library until a librarian came up quietly and asked, “Did you know we close at 4?” It was 4. I thanked her and packed up. I paused to look at the display outside the library. RJ’s old desktop computer was there with a sticker,

“Any sufficiently advanced technology will be indistinguishable from magic.”

I started a 15 minute walk to the Air B&B my rolling suitcases in tow. Along the way I serendipitously came across Ogier street. The Ogier are a forest dwelling people in the Wheel of Time who have a penchant for long winded stories and info dumps. (Sound familiar?)

I took a photo.

The rest of the weekend was an exploration of Charleston and the places that inspired the books.

We visited the Angel Oak, known affectionately by the fandom as Avendesora, the Wheel of Time’s version of the Tree of Life. I’ve seen live oaks before, but the scale of this one was otherworldly. It’s impossible to convey the sense of scale with a photograph.

The next day we walked the gardens of Harriet McDougal’s home (Robert Jordan’s widow and editor). We were given a tour by Maria Simons (Head of the Brown Ajah).

Every time I thought we’d seen it all we would turn a corner or step into a passageway and discover more.

A true secret garden.

I took photos of flowers to plant in my own garden next year (including these tithonia which the butterflies loved… I even spotted a monarch.)

Next, we met with military historian and author of Origins of the Wheel of Time Michael Livingston.

He talked about his own creative process and showed us around The Citadel - the military college where RJ drew inspiration for The White Tower. There was also an impromptu book signing at Robert Jordan’s desk, which is now his. Michael signed a copy of his fiction book Shards of Heaven for me, which I look forward to reading. It is a historical fantasy novel set in Ancient Rome.

I’m still processing everything I was able to see.

Most of it didn’t seem real. Kind of like seeing Big Ben for the first time.

And between every surreal moment was soul to soul connection.

The intimate size and setting of the gathering made space for expansive and meaningful conversation.

It was like a bubble of peace that existed outside of time and space.

A Dreamshard, if you will.

I went looking for Robert Jordan and I found his spirit alive in these people.

If that’s not metaphysics at work I don’t know what is.

Michael Livingston caught us taking a selfie in front of the White Tower.

Many thanks to everyone who worked hard to make this weekend come to be, and also to every single sweet spirit who was there.

You are all doing The Light’s Work in your own way.

Your names sing in my ears.

I’m in proper long winded Ogier mode today, but I’ll try to wrap things up.

Circling back to my creative process:

I’ll never be Robert Jordan.

No one will.

But I can be Sarah Shotts.

I can tell the stories that are important to me in the ways and timelines that are right for me. My goal isn’t capitalistic success, but creative expression. To make something that’s true to me and share it with others who may find bits of themselves in it.

I’ll always have multiple projects. But I’m learning how to them weave them together. One project bubbling away in the slow cooker. One on the stovetop. And another fermenting in a dark cupboard.11

That cupboard is where my fiction writing has been. It’s time to wake up that sourdough starter and start proving some bread.

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Let’s discuss.

Do you have any projects in the fermentation cupboard you’re ready to pull out?

Have you ever had a creative pilgrimage? Where did you go and what did you learn?

Cheers,

P.S. Did you miss my first posts about rediscovering Wheel of Time? Catch them here.

The Value of Creative Joy 🥰

Wheel of Time 101

FOOTNOTES

1

We realized over the weekend that the easiest way to explain why 12 strangers were flying across the country to visit a library and an old tree was simply to call ourselves a book club. It worked on my chiropractor.

2

Metaphysics definition via Oxford Languages

3

Also true, and something I love about this fandom is that we each bring our own criticisms to these books we love. I don’t love these books in a way that is infallible. I know they are flawed. Everything human is. And I love them anyway.

4

Perhaps I should reread John O’Donohue’s Anam Cara with this in mind. Maybe there are answers there. (Anam Cara means “soul friend” in Gaelic.)

5

For the curious that’s 88 NaNoWriMo novels. The reason I went for words instead of pages.

6

Siuan Sanche, The Great Hunt by: Robert Jordan

7

Box 20, EOTW Revision #1, Filename: Ramblings, pg. 10 (James Oliver Rigney, Jr., papers, College of Charleston Libraries, Charleston, SC, USA.)

8

Box 24, Folder 1, TGH, “Misc Random thoughts” (James Oliver Rigney, Jr., papers, College of Charleston Libraries, Charleston, SC, USA.)

9

Box 24, Folder 1 “Notes on course of books” (James Oliver Rigney, Jr., papers, College of Charleston Libraries, Charleston, SC, USA.)

10

Box 75, Folder 2, “Additional White Goddess Notes” (James Oliver Rigney, Jr., papers, College of Charleston Libraries, Charleston, SC, USA.)

11

It turns out fermentation is actually a key part of my creative process, and not one I’m going to feel guilty about any more. Maybe I’ll write more about this another day.

Papaya Leaves

A hyper focus project

Sometimes I give the idea that I am “very organized” and have things “all planned out.”

Reader, I do not.

In fact, since becoming a parent I have very little structure and planning in my life at all. But what I do have is hyper focus. And I surf it like a wave whenever it comes for me.

Act 1

A neglected compost heap.

I had big plans for a garden this year. I made a calendar with what to plant each month.

There would be squash.

There would be pumpkins.

There was not squash or pumpkins.

We made it to radishes before my back pain flared up and the whole garden (including the compost heap) was ignored for roughly 8 months.

Act 2

Enter Papaya Stage Left.

September 27th

When I started paying attention again there was a giant papaya plant (tree… a baby tree y’all) and burgeoning cherry tomatoes taking over the compost heap.

I learned it was a papaya plant with this cool identify plant feature iPhones have now. I double checked on Google and surely enough it was a match. The leaves are massive, but if we lived in a tropical climate they would get even bigger.

I immediately fell in love and knew I had to make art with these.

I wanted to preserve as many as possible before the frost comes in and ruins all the lovely leaves.

(I live in Arkansas so it won’t survive winter, but I’m holding out the smallest hope it might regrow from the root next year.)

October 3rd

I tried to press leaves in the largest book I own, but the edges stuck and out and eventually crumpled up.

October 11th

I asked Nathan to cut some plywood to make a massive flower press.

October 12th

I layered cardboard and leaves between two plywood sheets and put two heavy boxes of tubs filled with notebooks (which we pulled out of the attic for another project.)

Hand for scale.

This is one of the biggest leaves so far.

Like I said, it’s trying to become a tree.

Act 3

Making it work.

I had 3 mediums in mind for the leaves:

1. Press the leaves to make imprinted pottery over winter.

2. Ink the leaves and make monoprints on paper.

3. Print the leaves onto clothing with fabric paint.

I may get to monoprints, but I started with clothing using a bottle of fabric paint I had on hand.

Results were varied, but I learned a lot about the materials.

I started on a pillowcase and then moved to printing olive green overalls.

This isn’t a DIY post, but I did learn that the best way to apply paint was a large flat brush and that you have to work quickly and thickly (but not too thick) so the paint doesn’t dry before the transfer. It’s also not the most washable technique. It will continue distressing with each wash so I will likely wash as needed using the gentle cycle.

October 16th

I printed two pairs of overalls and the back of an olive green chore jacket.

I’m wearing the overalls with my Gary Graham tee which feels full circle.

I bought this white fabric paint in 2021 after seeing Gary Graham paint a dress on Making the Cut.

I knew I wanted to paint a pair of olive green overalls, but didn’t know what I wanted to paint. Sometimes the seed of inspiration takes a while to sprout, but it’s always worth the wait. 🌱

After printing these they reminded me of the S. S. Daley collection Dan Levy wore last autumn. I fell in love with these looks on first sight so it was probably an unconscious influence.

I remember seeing the trench coat first and thinking “I want that, but with leaves.” Then I found the second.

Photo Source: Dan Levy

Wearing: S. S. Daley Fall 2022 & DL Eyewear

Why I'm Breaking Up with Substack

Over the last year, Substack has been one of my biggest creative outlets. I’ve spent more hours writing, podcasting, and engaging on Substack than anywhere else.

I don’t regret the time I’ve spent there or the connections I’ve made, but it’s time for a pivot.

If you don’t know about Substack yet it’s part blog, part newsletter, part podcast, part YouTube channel, and (most recently) part social media.

Last month they introduced a big change to their business model.

Their app, which was previously a chronological feed of long form blog style content, introduced an algorithm and put their social media style posts up front and center. It becomes increasingly obvious that they are going after the “Twitter market” and / or whatever brings them the most money. It feels like watching Instagram slowly become something other than a photography platform.

I’ve seen this movie and I didn’t like the ending.

My platform is small, but I made about $300 in paid subs last year. The week before Substack introduced an algorithm I had been planning to merge my paid tier with my creative membership program The Companionship. I had spent hours setting up Substack to host my membership program and course portal. And I put it all on pause because it didn’t feel right.

Something I really dislike about Substack’s social media feed is how poorly it handles blocking and muting. There are certain topics that aren’t good for my mental health that I continue to see. Sometimes I even see posts or comments from people I have specifically blocked. With this in mind I did not want to continue using an app that opened a social feed I had very little control over.

I deleted the Substack app.

And I’m loving it.

I’m back to experiencing Substack as a newsletter again.

PRO TIP: I use a special email address just for newsletters I actually want to read. (I actually did this the year before I joined Substack.)

Without the noise of the social feed I’m quite enjoying Substack again. And I’m less overwhelmed so I’m actually reading more posts.

But I am breaking up with Substack as part of my business ecosystem and I’m reframing the paid tier as a tip jar.

Here are the changes I’m making:

1. No more paywalled content. Instead I’ll send a special thank you card or letter in the mail once a year.

2. I’m archiving my best Substack posts here on the blog. (Like this one.)

3. I’m only sending out newsletters once a month instead of weekly.

4. I’m blogging again. If I want to write something between newsletters I’ll write here and link to it.

5. My membership program and course portal have moved to Ghost.org. Ghost is a nonprofit that has been around for a decade. I’m not moving my free list because it does not have the discoverability or user base that Substack does. But it is a completely private, algorithm free space that is perfect for a membership and course portal. It costs a flat fee of $9 a month and does not take any percentage of sales. I’m still in the process of setting it all up, but you can see how my Ghost portal looks here.

My free newsletter will remain on Substack so long as engagement remains high and growth feels authentic. (If I see too many spammy follows I’ll move the free list to Ghost as well.)

Right now i’m having slow growth on Substack and seeing new commenters who are engaging with my work. The comment system is strong and facilitates good long term discussions better than any platform I have ever used. So I’m not keen to lose that.

Let’s Discuss.

Are you on Substack? How do you feel about the changes?

Cheers,

The Value of Creative Joy 🥰

And rediscovering The Wheel of Time 🐉

Yellowed pages with a preteen’s attempt at italic calligraphy copying passages of prophecy and names from The Wheel of Time

Today I want to talk about creative joy.

Reconnecting to The Wheel of Time has reminded me what creativity felt like before it got all tangled up in career and profession and entrepreneurship.

For the last decade my creative energy has been focused outwards.

Everything I did became fodder for “content” on Instagram, YouTube, or (eventually) Substack.

I love documenting the process, but the frame of creative business definitely impacted the types of things I chose to make and spend my time on. This was particularly tangled up in “positioning” myself as a professional artist & author.

Certain parts of my identity got lost along the way. I’m in the process of untangling it all which I wrote about a few months ago: I'm not a brand. I'm a human. 🫀

What I didn’t share then is that rediscovering my humanity was largely tied up in a book series called The Wheel of Time.

14 Blue Wheel of Time Books (image credit: Juniper Books)

During my teenage years I had basically no friends my own age. What I did have was The Wheel of Time. I logged in to a fansite called Wotmania every morning and later on a fan fiction site called Silklatern. The interactions I had with other fans was the one place that I really “fit in”.

Navigating two degrees as an undiagnosed autistic took pretty much all of my social energy. During that time I completely lost touch with fandom and reading for fun. By the time I finished my postgraduate studies I’d pretty much forgotten what it felt like to get lost in a book.

Enter 2020. I had a one year old baby. The world was chaos. And I turned to… The Wheel of Time. I pulled the Eye of the World off my shelf and fell into a world of magic that I knew and loved. The characters were old friends and the story was comforting in its familiarity, but that wasn’t all.

Rereading the books awakened something in me.

A creative spark. It is no coincidence that these are the books I was reading when I starting writing my first book, Discover Your Creative Ecosystem.

The writing of Robert Jordan just has this effect on me. I love other authors and other books, but the Wheel of Time is etched into my bones.

Myself in a multi colored patchwork gleeman’s cloak at WotCon 2023. Thanks to the volunteer photographers at WotCon for this shot.

It’s hard to explain. It’s… ineffable.

But there must be some kind of soul connection to something in this story for me. Why do we love the stories we love? It’s something I’m really curious about. It always feels flat and superficial when I try to explain.

The Wheel of Time has always inspired me to create. I high school I filled notebooks and notebooks with world building. I made sketches of costumes and drafted stories and put myself to sleep imagining characters in worlds of my own.

I gave up writing somewhere along the way, but after self publishing my first book I’ve also started writing fiction again. I’ve been working on a fantasy story that I’d like to tell for the last two NaNoWriMo’s and I’m ready to start working on it year round.

Meanwhile I have felt the ta’veren tug (if you know you know) pulling me deeper and deeper into WoT fandom community.

It’s becoming an important part of my life so you can probably expect to hear more about it here.

It all started in March when I created a muppet style puppet for a song parody contest… an in world version of These are the People in Your Neighborhood. The first project I’ve done purely for creative joy in YEARS. 🤯

Fluffy purple Ogier puppet with large ping pong ball eyes, a wide purple nose, and tufted ears. Ogier are book loving creative souls and I feel a deep kinship with them.

This was in no way for my portfolio, content marketing, or even something for my family. It was a gift for the Wheel of Time community and complete joy to make.

I really loved the challenge of creating in a brand new medium (I’d never made a puppet before) and figuring it out through trial and error. I drew on various creative skills in a way I haven't done since working on set and props during my undergraduate degree.

Almost immediately after finishing it I jumped into another project. A gleeman’s cloak.

Something I noticed about making something for me was that I didn’t have to fuss over setting up a camera to film or creating perfect process photos.

I wasn’t making this for DIY content. I was making it for me.

Because of this I worked for many hours at the kitchen table (much less photogenic than my studio) simply because I could cut squares or I could sew while Davy role played as Link from Zelda.

I wrote a bit about that here.

Multicolored and textured patches for my cloak. These are 209 out of 350 patches required.

I sat down to write about the cloak itself today, but instead I found myself wanting to share the story behind how it came to be.

The shift that opened up “time” for something like this. News flash: I didn’t actually have more time. I just used my time differently. I spent a similar amount of time last summer making this.

And the value I’m finding in creative joy.

Let’s discuss.

What would you make if you had a dedicated period of time where you couldn’t do anything productive and had to let yourself play?

Where do you find creative joy?

Cheers,

I'm not a brand. I'm a human.

Last year I took two big marketing classes by brilliant teachers and I’ve decided to ignore some of their biggest advice.

Entering my Human Era.

I’ve decided to stop trying to be a cohesive “brand.”

Is this a bad idea? Possibly.

Would I grow faster if I followed branding advice? Assuredly.

But it is not for me.

Over the years I have taken dozens of marketing classes for my many creative pursuits: marketing for wedding photography, marketing for bloggers, marketing for artists, marketing for - - yes, this was an actual class - - weirdos. (That one was actually pretty cool and I would honestly recommend, but I’m still ignoring one of the main lessons.)

What they all have in common is a bit of homework to describe your business in 3 words (usually in the form of a Venn diagram.)

So I carve parts of my identity away like Cinderella’s sisters trying to fit into the the glass slipper.*

I love a bit of homework. So I go about this bit of self mutilation quite happily choosing fonts and color palettes that best fit one facet of my persona. 

I think I’m a decade into online marketing classes at this point. Because I’ve been doing this for a while it has become almost second nature. I don’t even question it.

“Branding” is just… how it’s done.

After all it’s not that different than the autistic masking I’ve done all my life. Like many autistics I often find my place in social circles by adding “value.” So this concept was something I am well accustomed to. The homework assignment felt like a no brainer. Show people the stuff they want to see.

Don’t talk about Dungeons and Dragons in polite company.

I fragmented my identity into the bits that were marketable. Sometimes I might even create two completely separate “brands.” I did this for marketing reasons, but also to appear less “scattered”, “unfocused”, or “flaky”. I see now that I was trying to hide neurodivergent traits that are classically associated with ADHD.

Right after my masters degree I splintered into two people. The creative one and the geeky one.

I started a wedding photography business inspired by vintage books. Meanwhile I was making quirky YouTube videos as one half of Swot Sisters. I’ve never found a way for those parts of myself to really inhabit the same space. Even last year I started two separate Substacks.

An artsy Substack to talk about creativity. And a geeky space themed Substack to talk about neurodivergence (while weaving in lots of Star Trek and Doctor Who references.)

I finally merged them last month.

Over the years I’ve gone through a variety of rebrands. But I never found a “brand” that didn’t pinch like wearing a too small pair of shoes.

Then something extraordinary happened. 

Even as I lost people who thought I was a flibbertigibbet.*

I found myself surrounded by YOU. Curious, creative souls who don’t seem to mind (or actually like it?) when I color outside the lines, show the mess, or pilot the spaceship at breakneck speeds. 

Buckle your seatbelt because it’s going to be a bumpy ride.

I am done with chopping off pieces of myself to appear more “professional.” I’m ready to put on my Frizzle jumpsuit and get messy!

Moving forward you can expect more complexity, more mess, and more contradictory humanity here.

I’m a human who:

• makes art

• writes fiction

• self publishes books

• reads sci fi & fantasy

• teaches theatre at university

• plays video games

• home educates

• bakes sourdough bread

• tends a messy garden

Who knows what may bubble up next?

Cheers,

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Footnotes

1. If you are not a fairy tale nerd… this does indeed happen in the classic Grimm version of the story.

2. Love this song. (The world could use more humans like Maria.)

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I'm not a brand. I'm a human. Reflections on marketing, identity, and neurodivergence.

Originally published to Substack on May 16, 2023

How I Survived My First Author Event

Happy Friday!

I’m attempting a bit of writing today while Davy “types” on his new keyboard and iPad app. Last week I attended NWA Book Fest… my first appearance as an author. Indeed my first gathering of any kind since COVID times. I wanted to take some time to share about that experience.

Luckily I was so busy the week before I didn’t have any time to be nervous. I practiced my reading a time or two, installed the Square Up app to take credit card payments, and put my books in a box.

There was a little bit of scheduling confusion and the event was running early so I was rushed right onto stage within minutes of showing up. (Not ideal for an autistic. I’m not gonna lie.)

I also expected to be introduced and had only prepared for a reading. Somehow I managed to introduce myself and my book without rehearsal. I think its down to how often I have talked about my book online. Maybe it does get easier with practice. I wouldn’t say I’m captivating, but I did it.

Right after my reading I had a group of blogger friends show up to hear me. They just missed me because of the schedule kerfuffle, but we took a photo anyway.

Then I did a short signing and sold 4 books. 🥳

(Shout out to my friend Lori Lynn who served as my “emotional support extrovert” and helped me make small talk at my signing table.)

It was really nice to see people respond to my book in real time. One woman immediately connected my book to The Artist’s Way which completely made my day. So thankful to everyone who dropped by to take a look.

Some lessons I learned and will be adding to my self publishing course:

• Print a QR code to purchase the ebook. (My hardcover is a deluxe edition and more people might have purchased the digital bundle for $20.)

• Print my Venmo code. (Spelling it out did not seem to work.)

• Have something to hold business cards / stickers so they don’t blow away.

• Probably bring a book holder as well. The books kept tumbling off the table and one or two may be damaged. (Hit reply if you’d like to buy a damaged book for $10 off.)

Here is actual footage of me after the event. 😂

(That’s Odo from Star Trek Deep Space Nine.) It took a lot out of me.

I realized that this simple brief appearance pushed me to the edge of my capacity and I definitely should NOT sign up for longer events any time soon. (After two hours I felt the way I normally do after a whole convention. ) I believe this is due to…

• More sensory overload on a daily basis from parenting.

• Diminished social capacity due to socializing with my toddler 24/7. (I’m just going to call him toddler till he turns 4, ok?)

• Not going to any events for 3-4 years during early motherhood / COVID times. I feel out of practice at masking and also no desire to return to that level of social performance.

Not only am I “re-entering” the world after COVID lockdowns, but I’m also learning how I want to show up as an autistic human. What does it mean to attend events without pressuring myself to mask (performing excitement, facial expressions, small talk, etc.)?

Even so I was pretty wiped out afterwards. Here is how I reset the next day:

• Time alone in the studio. I laid on the daybed and watched Netflix for an hour and then made a collage.

• Time with Davy in the backyard.

• A long walk with a podcast.

• Reading in the bath.

• Playing Cozy Grove with Davy. (More on that below.)

I’m still pretty tired, but I feel more or less human again. If I hadn’t been able to take that time I would have stayed in a perpetually burned out / shut down kind of state.

I still struggle with taking time for myself as a parent, but when I do I am reminded of how powerful and restorative it can be.

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Other bits and bobs I’d like to recommend this week.

Play

First off, I have rediscovered Cozy Grove. I played this a couple of years ago on my phone, but we just purchased it for the Nintendo Switch and I have been playing with Davy.

It’s a really cute and relaxing game.

You’re a scout marooned on an island haunted by (cute) bear ghosts. You run around the island finding things for them and helping them restore their memories. You can also fish and bake and craft and garden. The music and artistic style sets such an atmosphere. Have a peek.

I’ve heard it’s kind of like Animal Crossing, but in my opinion is cuter and more fun. (I tried Animal Crossing after finishing this game the first time and didn’t connect with it.)

If you’re a casual gamer and just looking for a way to relax would really recommend Cozy Grove. 🥰

Read

The blog post of the week for me was How to Be a Good Assistant to Yourself by Austin Kleon.

Muse

This post by @worry__lines on Instagram is really good food for thought.

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Well that was effective! Maybe I’ll do this again. What do you think?

Cheers,

Making 360 VR with a 3 year old collaborator ✨

I’m playing with the structure a bit here and trying out categories for a monthly studio update.

I haven’t had much studio time this month unless you count making Number Block counting beads with Davy and the 3 hour masterclass I took from Amie McNee & Jimmy Winestock.

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A peek into my creative process and an update on my collection, “This is my Brain on Motherhood.”

This week I’m sharing a sneak peek at a 360 VR piece I made in December. I’m still working out how to share this on Instagram.

Click through below to watch on YouTube. Then you can move your phone to look all around. Tap the cog to select HD or it will load super blurry. 🫣

This piece was inspired by a piece of writing by Hayley Dunlop of Becoming an author which reminded me of doing this as a child. It was purely creative play at the time. I later revisited this process in directing class when I was asked to "completely transform the space."

Hayley's writing connected this memory to neurodivergent thought patterns which immediately made me want to create this with Davy.

Working alongside him added all sorts of layers - both layers of meaning - and literal pools of knots (which were never part of my previous efforts.) 😂

Here is a timelapse of the creation process.

I also admired these shadows.

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Other bits and bobs I’d like to recommend this week.

Katherine May’s podcast How We Live Now with Priya Parker - This is a chat about gathering well and drawing the lines we need around different social events and communities. I couldn't have listened to this as a better time as I had been struggling with the Code of Conduct for my membership program and this gave me all the confidence to go with my gut. I’ve also ordered Priya’s book (affiliate link) which happens to have a gorgeous watercolor cover.

We’ve subscribed to the newspaper for the first time ever and I loved this article about artist Thaddeus Mosley. Waiting for a quiet moment to enjoy this studio tour…

Broadway scenic designer Eugene Lee passed away this week. His work includes sets for Wicked, Sweeney Todd, and SNL (among many others!) I love his work and enjoyed this retrospective by the New York Times.

I had the pleasure of seeing Lee’s set for Wicked twice. It honestly fascinated me as much as any of the music or performance.

You can see a behind the scenes peek at the process here:

My apologies if you are not able to access the articles by New York Times. I will always try to include an alternate source (like these videos) when linking to content that may be paywalled. Even if you can’t access the same articles I read I hope you can chase this rabbits down another trail. 🐇

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Ok, that’s all for this week.

I'd love to hear what you’ve been making or inspired by in comments below. ✨

Cheers,

Originally published on Substack March 10, 2023

Fluctuating Capacity & Neurodivergent Energy Levels 💥

You know the film Back to the Future?
The whole plot revolves around repairing the time machine’s flux capacitor - the bit that makes it possible to travel through time.

While I was editing the first draft I connected the words fluctuate and capacity. My geek brain immediately jumped to flux capacitor. So I’ve decided to illustrate this newsletter with Back to the Future gifs.

Ok, let me get back on track.

Neurodivergent brains are always taking in more sensory input than our neurotypical peers. That means our capacity (our ability to do things) is always fluctuating depending on our environment and life circumstances.

Before parenthood I could pretty much always push past my limits. I had the capacity to manage a lot of things in my work because of the priviledge and flexibility in my personal life. I had time and space to reset and recover in my own time.

But parenting is an energetic and sensorial drain. Meanwhile I have fewer supports like adequate sleep, solitude to reset, and extra time to transition or complete tasks.

When new parenthood met pandemic life I quickly learned my capacity is insepearble from my supports and whether my autistic needs are being met.

(Can of worms, but capacity is often referred to by the outdated term “functioning level” which is inaccurately imagined as fixed.)

The idea that we have a fluctuating capacity to focus, or be organized, or get stuff done is often hard for neurotypicals to understand. When someone sees we’re able to drive or cook or talk to a room full of people they might assume we can do these things all the time. Or they may not realize the toll it takes on us before and afterward.

The smallest factor can tip the scale and drain our capacity. And so our ability varies every day.

One day I might bake from scratch sourdough banana bread.

The next day I might not be able to prepare any food at all.

A neurodiversity affirming approach means having supports and alternatives in place when capacity does not match intentions.

In the case of food that might be: batch cooking when capacity is high, grab and go food, healthy snacks, ordering takeout, or asking for help. Or in my case setting a timer to make sure I prepare meals in advance because I can’t cook if I’m hungry.

So I’m cultivating awareness of my own capacity. And I’m learning to make adjustments. This is incredibly hard and not at all intuitive.

Neurodivergent folk often hyper focus on something to the point our physical bodies melt away.

This is one reason we end up overcommitting. We take on projects when are running high on hyper focus and when we land in our bodies realize we’ve taken on too much.

Other times our environment or circumstances change.

This has happened to me with this project.

I had a vision for sending out book chapters every month, but that structure isn’t aligned with my current capacity.

Past me would have pushed myself into burn out. But I am learning to make adjustments for my current energy levels. Rather than seeing this as a failure I am trying to reframe it as a strength.

Often, especially for austitics, black and white thinking can keep us from even seeing the option to restructure commitments, take a break, or ask for help.

Bonus content!

I’m fascinated / obsessed with the idea that ADHD & Autism may be part of the same spectrum. Both diagnosis profiles are based on outdated stereotypes and external behaviors versus internal experiences.

Here are two neuroscience studies exploring how there may not be a scientific basis for separate diagnosis.

• Examining overlap and homogeneity in ASD, ADHD, and OCD: a data-driven, diagnosis-agnostic approach

• Structural neuroimaging correlates of social deficits are similar in autism spectrum disorder and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder

Discussion time!

So many of us found our place in the world by being “organized” or “helpful”. We’re white knuckling our way through the world clinging to those moments of praise and think that’s where our worth is.

Meanwhile we’re doing real harm to ourselves trying to maintain impossible levels of professionalism and productivity so we don’t appear “lazy” or “flighty”.

How perfectly neurodivergent is this Maria song? (Sorry not sorry for my segueway from Sci Fi to Musical Theatre. It’s who I am.) 😂

Do you struggle with knowing your capacity or managing commitments?

How do you know when you’ve taken on too much?

Originally published to Substack on October 7, 2022.

Orbiting Ideas 🚀

Months ago I scribbled "orbiting ideas" on an index card. What I meant at the time was the feeling of having an idea, forgetting it, returning to the idea, not having energy of it, leaving it, and finally meeting that idea when the time was right.

I used to fight this.

Or feel extremely guilty about it.

But I’m learning that this rhythm is actually a healthy part of my creative ecosystem.

Rather than living in a perpetual state of creative burn out (I’m looking at you 2018) I’m even more productive since following the gravitational pull of my own orbit.

It can be frustrating gliding right past a shiny idea that’s just out of reach. Or catapulting through sparkling space dust that you know is magic, but you can’t quite make out.

For example, right now I’m curious about the hard science of orbit and how NASA calculates the trajectory of space craft. 🚀

But, Davy’s at the end of his nap, Nathan is ready for dinner, and I find myself skimming right past.

That doesn’t mean I have to give up on the idea. I mean, it sounds fascinating (if potentially a little math heavy). Maybe when I reread the Lady Astronaut series I’ll revisit the idea and Hank Green will have made the perfect accessible Sci Show video to explain.

(Ok, while I was looking for an image to put here I found this link. This is why I have 500 tabs open on my phone.)

Trusting that I will come back to the mechanics of orbiting at some point I’m moving on. I think you get the basic idea.

So many of us, especially neurodivergent creators, are shamed for “shiny object syndrome” or “project hopping” or “lack of focus.”

But what I’m experiencing is far from a lack of focus, it’s extreme (yet somewhat unwieldy) hyperfocus. And when I let my hyperfocus take the lead I fall into a deeply productive creative flow.

This is how I’ve made more art and drafted three books in three years since my son has been born. The years before were a wash of structured “productivity” during which I spent a lot of time working, but didn't engage very deeply in my creative work.

Over the summer I’ve been preparing to give a talk on neurodiversity for my son’s school. When I started researching and the pull toward going deeper and deeper got stronger and stronger like I was being tugged into a black hole.

I’m going to ride this out and when Davy starts school I should have enough control of the spacecraft to land on a cozy asteroid and finish up Discover Your Creative Ecosystem.

For me to control the spacecraft I need a certain amount of quiet time to reset from the overstimulation of motherhood. Otherwise our escape pod is just spinning and I am putting out endless fires.

I’m also having a lot of fun with the space imagery for this project inspired by the term neurodivergent space time which I coined for an art project earlier this year. I was a massive space nerd in first grade and my inner child is living their best life. ✨

What about you? Do you orbit ideas a few times before you can really land on them?

Let’s talk about that.

Originally published to Substack on July 29, 2022

Studio Updates June 2022

Time melted after my book launch so this update encompasses both May and June.

I’ve slowed down considerably for summer. I know there’s only so much I can do with Davy home all day so I’ve put several projects on pause (like podcasting and my self publishing Q&A.)

And I’ve been experimenting with creative projects that Ht within the limits of time, space, and energy I have at the moment.

Persistence of Memory by Salvador Dali

Here’s what I’ve been working on...

Performance Art

It’s a bit surprising, as someone who has studied both art and drama, that I’ve never really considered making performance art.

Drawing inspiration from mother artist Cassie Arnold I’ve started a performance piece of my own.

Removing a tag from Davy’s shirt

I’ve begun recording time-lapse videos of myself cutting tags out of Davy’s clothing for the My Brain on Motherhood series. This simple mundane task is a quintessentially autistic experience. (Mom cut tags out of my clothes for years.)

This process makes art from life and brings visibility into the domestic sphere in the spirit of Mierle Laderman Ukeles’ Maintenance Art.

When I exhibit this work the tags will be displayed alongside the performance.

Baking

I’ve also spent a lot of time in the kitchen. Alongside constantly feeding my growing toddler I’ve also been trying out a low FODMOP meal plan to help with some EDS related digestion problems.

Unfortunately... it’s working. 😂

(My tummy is happy, but the list of foods my body can’t digest is growing rapidly.)

In the absence of so many favorites I have found one new recipe I absolutely love.

3 ingredient peanut butter cookies. These are delicious (and are also gluten free, but they don’t taste like it.)

Here’s the recipe...

Sarah’s Peanut Butter Cookies

Ingredients

1 egg

1 cup of peanut butter*

3/4 cup sugar**

* Use your favorite. I’ve been making my own peanut butter this month which is surprisingly easy (but it does require a powerful blender).

** I use demerara sugar which I keep on hand for my tea.

Method

Preheat the oven to 350° F (that’s Gas Mark 4 for my UK folk) Mix ingredients.

Roll into one inch balls (I use this scoop.) Bigger ones do not bake well... trust me, I tried.

Press a criss-cross with a long tined fork and sprinkle a bit more more sugar. (Or sea salt if you’re daring.)

Bake for 12-15 minutes or until edges are golden brown.

Give them some time to Hrm up. (They will be soft at Hrst.) Then scoc one down while it’s still warm. Keep the rest in an airtight bag.

Photography

Last week I wrote about intentional inconsistency, but The Magic Mundane project with Claire Venus has become a daily practice. Sometimes the best way to cultivate daily creativity in your life is to make it as easy as possible.

We exchange photos once a day and post the highlights to Instagram. (You can join in with the hashtag #themagicmundane.)

I also create a diptych each week to add to my portfolio. I’m really looking forward to exhibiting these and seeing them up on a wall together.

Writing

I’ve really been drawn to writing this summer. There are no supplies. No set up or clean up.

I’ve been drafting posts on my phone (which I’m doing right now) and journaling on paper (now that Davy has left the human goat phase.)

This uptick in writing is one reason I created Substack so I have a space to share long form writing more frequently.

It feels like old school blogging and I am here for it!

Writing with my adorable journal buddy at the kitchen table

Finishing up my book is on hold until autumn when Davy goes back to school. (Thank goodness I had the foresight to choose an autumnal release date!) Past me would have promised the book over summer and would be hurtling at lightspeed into burn out. 🚀

That’s all for me this month! What have you been making?

Cheers,

---

Originally Published on Substack June 24, 2022

Intentional Inconsistency

Holding 3 years of motherhood journals.

The very idea that inconsistency is something to practice may fly in the face of everything you’ve ever heard.

It’s certainly the antithesis of what Julia Cameron prescribes in her book The Artist’s Way. (I actually love this book, but her specific creative process hasn’t been a good fit for me since Davy was born.)

During my autism evaluation the psychologist noted that I was an “all in” person. I was drowning in commitments and my evaluator suggested I try practicing inconsistency. I was completely blind to having that choice.

My brain only sees “do” or “do not.” (I would be an excellent Jedi Master.)

It has been a very long and slow process to begin shifting this.

That’s why I call it a practice. I mean that in the same way someone has a yoga practice or a gratitude practice. Inconsistency is something I’m actively working to cultivate in my daily life.

Because of this tendency I avoid “don’t break the chain” mindset like the plague. I’ve fallen under its spell many times and its pretty ugly. I could chain 300 days and if I miss a day its all over for me.

That broken chain feels worse than starting from zero.

My best defense is to embrace inconsistency. To invite it in.

When I was journaling as a new mum I was often faced with the option to sleep or to write. And, in my maternal wisdom, I knew that Julia was wrong.

Art is important, but sleep is number one.

Here I am three years later.

I’m celebrating 916 journal pages during the first three years of motherhood. (189 of those were using a simple daily check in you can download here.)

I broke the chain many times.

I chose sleep, and baths, and yes sometimes even Stranger Things.

And I don’t regret it.

Because I was intentionally inconsistent this isn’t a failure. It’s a win. It’s me taking care of myself and my creative ecosystem.

Those 673 pages would not exist without taking this approach. (The same goes for writing my books by the way. That process was also wildly inconsistent.)

So here I am with a fist full of journal inserts (it is pretty satisfying they all match, isn’t it?)

…one of which was nibbled by Davy when he was in the human goat phase. 😂

This taste for paper is part of why I found journaling time hard to come by. I’m writing more these days, but I still want to hold this practice with a loose grip.

How do you feel about consistency?

Love it or hate it?

Hit reply or hop over to Substack and leave a comment.

The discussion possibilities on Substack are pretty cool and one of the big reasons I made this jump. (There’s also a pretty cool app if you’re into that.)

Ok, it sounds like Davy’s waken up grumpy from his nap so my quiet time is all used up.

Until next time,

---

Originally Published on Substack JUN 17, 2022

What is a Creative Ecosystem?

A creative ecosystem includes every condition within which we create. I developed this metaphor to help me build a healthier creative practice. Each element of a natural ecosystem (sun, water, air, etc.) is matched with a creative counterpart (body, mind, environment, and so on.)

Once I began seeing creativity in this way I couldn’t unsee it.

I also noticed it was quite countercultural. It’s an alternative approach to these two common creative traps.

1. One Size Fits All Advice

Too many creative leaders are trying to pass on their specific creative process as if it will work for anyone. Even my beloved Julia Cameron is guilty of this. The seeds of this idea were sown when I reread The Artist’s Way as a new mum. I knew creativity was an important part of my life and wanted guidance in how to maintain my creative life through new motherhood.

But suddenly, Julia’s advice no longer served me. I was exhausted. I didn’t have the capacity for daily journaling. And it wasn’t what I needed.

What I needed was a nap.

Reaching the end of my rope taught me that caring for my body and my mind is an essential part of the creative process.

I still don’t write or make something every day, and that’s okay. I’ve found a new rhythm that’s working for me. It’s fluid and adaptive and continues to develop over time.

2. Hustle, Hustle, Burnout

For years I’ve been working under the hustle, hustle, burnout template. I would push myself past the edge of my capacity and then crash and burn.

I see a lot of my fellow artists doing the same thing.

There is a growing awareness that we need rest, but it’s often treated like one more thing to squeeze into your to-do list.

What we really need is to rebalance our entire creative process rather than trying to cram in even more to-dos.

Look at the Big Picture

Here’s where your creative ecosystem comes in. When you zoom out and notice how everything interconnects you begin to see how it all serves your creative process.

This perspective can help you make little shifts that honor your own needs instead of following a template set out by someone else. Find your own balance of structure and freedom, input and output, solitude and community, and more. Dig into your purpose and why you’re creating. Create rituals for rest and reflection.

When I saw there was more to art than simply making my own creative ecosystem began to thrive.

I can’t make a fun quiz to determine if your ecosystem is a forest or a canyon.

Only you can decide that.

But I have spent two years writing a book to help you start the journey. Breaking down your creative ecosystem and exploring it one step at a time.

I’m working on the final edits for that book right now and will be launching it on Indiegogo in late Spring.

If that’s a book you want to read

sign up for my mailing list.

P.S. Looking for my creative motherhood book? Read about it’s progress here.

Images via Unsplash

The Magic Mundane

So excited to announce… The Magic Mundane. ✨

I’ve teamed up with Claire Venus for this ongoing creative project. We’re exchanging photos everyday and once a week curating an Instagram diptych or reel to share the magic. You’re invited to join in using #themagicmundane. 📸

This project celebrates moments of beauty, light, mess, and mundanity in a creative mama’s everyday life. ✨ We were inspired by messes of motherhood and the lovely book @3191milesapart. 🗺

Follow along each week @creatively.conscious and @sarahdshotts.

I’m choosing black and white diptychs from each week’s post to add to archive this project in my portfolio.

Books in Progress

You’ve heard me talk about writing a book… or two… or three over the past two and a half years. Even my mama is confused by now. So I thought I should walk you through my WIPs before I start talking about “my book.”

Manuscript #1

The first book I started writing explored the intersection of motherhood and creativity. I specifically wanted to hold space for new mothers, but that has expanded over time. I finished two drafts and surveyed over 100 mother makers. 2020 really sidelined this project because I had no quiet space to work.

Manuscript #2

Once my studio was finished I started a third draft of my maker mama book. But chapter one kept expanding. As words piled up I realized this concept wasn’t unique to motherhood and deserved a life of its own.

Starting with this smaller work felt right so I paused edits on my motherhood book, and started drafting what became Discover Your Creative Ecosystem.

What started as a creative retreat last autumn slowly became a book. Sharing these words in book form will make the material even more accessible. Creative souls can now work through the material in their own time.

It’s short and conversational and full of magic! (And pictures! More about this soon.) ✨

Manuscript #3

During NaNoWriMo of 2021 I started writing fiction for the first time in a decade. I have a reeeeaaaallllllyyyyy rough draft of a fantasy novel replacing the traditional hero (usually an adolescent boy) with a mother. I tried to make the setting and plot super simple, but quickly realized the joy of fantasy (for me) is complexity. So this is an ongoing project that, let’s face it, I may be working on for decades to come.

So, that’s where I’m at!

Discover Your Creative Ecosystem is coming soon. (Really soon! Like I already have proof copies winging my way.)

After that release I’ll return to my maker mama book. I’m seeing the whole motherhood experience as more of a spiral than a straight line now… so I am glad that I didn’t rush it.

And my fantasy novel is on a slow simmer. I’ll keep giving it a stir and tossing in different ingredients I find til I’m ready to draft again.

Which are you most excited for?

My word of the year: Root

Thus far this year hasn’t begun as expected.

Nevertheless, at the moment, Davy is napping. So here I am typing this blog post which I’ve been mentally drafting for almost two weeks. Please forgive any obvious typos. I may not have time for my normally obsessive editing process. 😂

*****

I’m planning to self publish my book Discover Your Creative Ecosystem this year.*

And, y’all, it is A LOT.

I know I could easily lose myself in that and burn out within a month. So I chose my word for 2022 as a counterbalance to that.

My word of the year is ROOT.

To cultivate a balance between productive and restorative time.

To increase awareness of my own capacity (rather than barreling along until I crash.)

To make space for things like reading, rabbit holes, journaling, gardening, and going for walks.

*If you’re wondering why I’m talking about ecosystems when I was writing about motherhood… that book is next! This was the first chapter of my Maker Mama manuscript and has become a work of its own. Once this baby is out in the world I’ll return structural edits for my creative mama book. ✏️

Last year I spent a lot of my alone time on external pursuits. But I had very little time for quiet contemplation (the bit I loved most about postpartum life.)

I can’t sustain that pace. I need more time focusing inward. Growing roots to support my branches. Tending my creative ecosystem. And learning to respect my own needs.

One important layer to this is taking my time to publish.

To go at my own pace and stop racing.

Ditching in my whirlwind launch plan for something slow and measured that unfolds slowly over the course of the entire year.

Or, that’s how I envisioned ROOT last week. When Davy was at school and I spent a luxurious morning with a cup of tea and Susannah Conway’s Unravel Your Year.

Now that I’m in full time mom mode for January (and perhaps longer) the word ROOT has taken on new meanings.

This month I’m focusing on our family’s roots. But that doesn’t mean neglecting my own. I learned this the hard way in the summer of 2020. So I will go slowly. Outward growth will be small awkward shoots (like this blog post.) And among the mayhem of mothering I will listen closely to what I need.

Yesterday I was so exhausted I just napped when Davy napped like they tell newborn mothers to do. Other days I may need to read or journal or have a quiet bath.

All of this is rooting.

There is so much to delve from this word, and I’m sure I’ll discover more depth of meaning through the year.

I have hope that the C*VID situation will improve and Davy will go back to Montessori in February. That will allow me a bit more time for rooting. And for publishing. I am so close to ordering proof copies of Discovering Your Creative Ecosystem and opening up preorders. I am so close to holding a book that I wrote in my own two hands.

But I’m also rooting. Honoring my own creative ecosystem. Respecting the capacity I have in this moment. And growing at my own pace.

I invite you to do the same.

Sarah xx

P.S. Another element of my rooting is to reimagine Patreon. I’ve just added original art to the $5 tier if that’s something you’re interested in.

P.P.S. How lovely is this custom collage by my friend Kate? 🥰 If you’d like a reminder of your word-of-the-year she’s your lady!

500 Tabs

I recently discovered that my iPhone has a limit of 500 tabs. I don’t know if this is a new limit or my new personal record for opening tabs and not closing them down. Flowers to plant, blogs to read, things to buy, recipes to make, music, films, games, places. I’ve got them all.

These days I’m often interrupted during the cycle of thought → research → idea. Over time these forgotten rabbit holes add up.

When I was sick over Christmas I got curious about what all those tabs were holding. I had to keep my mind busy while my body healed so over 48 hours I opened every tab and made a list of all the interested links & topics in my Notion app.

I created this list an archive for myself, but perhaps you’ll find something that sparks your curiosity as well. Enjoy a nosey peek into my neurodivergent mind. It’s crowded in here.

When I was curating this post I remembered I used to something similar on Patreon (with links I’d already read or made a note of somewhere). Maybe this is my way of returning to that.

My creative process is fueled by inquiry so there’s always a connection between my random musings and the work I end up creating. I love documenting this part of the process and sending these little curiosity sparks out into the world.

The Data

Out of 500 total tabs there were 203 useful links and topics (if I counted right). The rest were duplicates, duds, and dead shopping carts. There were also a fair number of links to do with physical and mental health which I didn’t include here.

Categories

I was curious about what kind of links I was hoarding so I did a little nerdy tally.

Here’s an idea of what you’ll find below.

Flowers & Gardening - 59

Breadcrumbs - 26

Recipes - 17

Shops - 17

Blogs & Articles - 15

Crafting Patterns - 12

Books - 11*

Music - 10

People - 8

Films - 7

Travel - 7

Pottery - 5

Words - 4

Games - 3

NW Arkansas - 1

*If this number seems low its because books are almost always added to TBR pile on Storygraph instead of an open tab.

Recipes

Anzac Biscuits via @emsie_kins

Sourdough Pancakes

Broccoli Rubble Farro Salad*

No Knead Sourdough Bread

Smitten Kitchen Shortbread Biscuits

5 Minute Peanut Noodles

Puy Lentil Salad & Picnic Recipes

Lentil & Chickpea Salad

Mature Cheddar Mac & Cheese

Apple Cake Recipe

Black Bean Spread

Strawberry Summer Sheetcake**

Biryani

Chicken Mulligatawny Soup via @peternhorton

Parkin

Christmas Jam via Jen

Patrick Stewart Beans on Toast

Apple Cider Donuts

*Ah, so this is why I bought farro! For what it’s worth I found this one twice.

**I actually baked this one, but I accidentally made it upside down.

Books

The Listening Path The Creative Art of Attention (A 6-Week Artist's Way Program) Author: Julia Cameron

A Life Made by Hand (The Story of Ruth Asawa) Picture Book

Born with Teeth by Kate Mulgrew

The Box in the Woods by Maureen Johnson

Tim Gun: The Natty Professor by Tim Gunn

The Complete Book of Flower Fairies

Myths & Legends of the Celtic Race

No Great Mischief by Alastair MacLeod 🇨🇦

Murder for Christmas by Francis Duncan

Teaching to Transgress: Education as the Practice of Freedom Harvest in Translation by bell hooks

Unearthing The Secret Garden: The Plants and Places That Inspired Frances Hodgson Burnett Marta McDowell

Plants to Research

“tetrapanax”

“euphorbia spurge”

“delphinium elatum”

“tree heather”

“amelanchier” via Laetitia Maklouf

“white agapanthus”

“stipa gigantea”

“viburnum plicatum mariesii”

“hardy geranium the lovely weed”

“crambe cordifolia zone”

“group 3 clematis”

“giant hyssop”

“globe thistle”

“astrantia”

“jamaica primrose”

“salvia involucrata”

“grow flax”

“gwendoline sweet pea”

“purple hyacinth beans”

“coreopsis moonbeam”

“trachystemon orientalis”

“stipa gigantea”

“bears breeches”

“red stem bush”

“winged everlasting”

“rudbeckia butterscotch biscuit”

“spicebush”

“species tulips”

“basket willow”

“wiggy wig bush”

Lady of Shalott Rose

Climbing Roses

Quaking Grass

Honorine Jobert Japanese Anemone

Cosmos 'Rubinato’

Poetical Liz Rose

Echinops & Knifophia

Gardening

What to Plant Each Month

“chelsea flower show 2013 treehouse”

“harrods british eccentrics garden”

“chelsea yorkshire garden 2018”

“chatsworth laurent perrier garden”

“hazelwood landscapes”

“chelsea rotating trellis panels 2021”

“chelsea flower show treehouse slide”

“monty don writing garden”

“seed tray hollyhock prick out”

“oxygenating pond plants weed”

“haws watering can”

“mexican fleabane steps”

“pinto bean plant support”

“grape vine trellis”

“cucumber beetles”

Episode 6 Gardeners' World, 2017 (Monty presents an hour of gardening for the Easter weekend. Nick Bailey gives tips on how achieve a luscious lawn, and Adam Frost starts to transform a herbaceous border.)

Charles Dowding's No Dig Gardening

Hampton Court Dry Gardens

“farmers nightmare seed mix”

Andy Gladman

Advolly Richmond

Blogs & Articles

When Mary Martin Was the Boy Who Wouldn’t Grow Up

Curiouser & Curioser V&A Exhibit

Tenderness Shares A Root With Attention

Inside a Hollow Book a Secret Library

Much More Than Muffins: The Women Who Invented Home Ec, NY Times

Setting up a business in your 50s: JamJar Flowers

Claire Fletcher: Stepping Back in Time

Gary Graham and His Collaborators Are Rewriting History One Embroidery Stitch at a Time

Gary Graham Relaunches From a Room of His Own in Upstate New York

Ramble On: Rockers Who Love ‘The Lord of the Rings’

The Discoverie of Witchcraft via British Library

Hollywood Formula

Three Act Structure in Film

Diary of a Young (Autistic) Naturalist

Mourning in the Early 1900s, Mary Robinette Kowal

Adapting The Wheel of Time for TV Is an Epic All Its Own

‘The Wheel of Time’ Star Madeleine Madden on Facing Down Whitecloaks, Harnessing the One Power, and Planting Easter Eggs for Fans

For Davy

Kids Sheet Music

Rupert the Bear

Free (Goregous) Seasonal Coloring Pages

How To Read Sheet Music: Step-by-Step Instructions

Shopping

“bent wire garden supports”

“soil sieve”

“Roll Out Wooden Curved Garden Pathway”

Oilcloth by the Yard

Provisional Press

Bookshop.org

Victorinox, a Swiss-made knife sharpener

Cupsmith Tea

iPad Paintbrushes

Raspberry Creek Custom Printed Fabrics

Bags of Hope Custom Printed Fabrics

Tiny & Snail Tiny Cards

Pottery Slab Roller

Broadway’s Back Tee

Pollack’s Toy Theatre Kits

Stormlight Archive Shirt(s)

Christmas Candle Spinner

Music

Flower Duet

Belle & Sebastian

Raglan Road

Ballad of Morgan the Moon

Time, Pink Floyd

The Sound of Silence, Simon & Garfunkel

Sutton Foster in Little Women

Underground, Assassins Creed

Beecake

Ghost of a Robot

Games

Dungeons of Naheulbeuk

Turing Complete

Wheel of Time MMO Teaser

Hues & Cues Board Game via @tamtasticbooks

Films

Mom and Dad Save the World

The Dressmaker

Brigadoon

Three Men & a Baby (Disney +)

Starship Troopers

The Electrical Life of Louis Wayne

The Imitation Game

Mother Artists

Ruth Asawa

Jane Kaufman, NY Times

Sewing & Crochet Patterns

Broken Dishes Quilt Block

Sew Liberated Patterns

Crochet Hair Scrunchie

Mood Fabrics Free Cottagecore Patterns

Palazzo Pants

Sapporo Coat

Muna and Broad Plus Size Patterns

Studio Pants

Sewing Weights (Rice or Pottery?)

Swedish Blinds, Escape to the Chateau 2021

Lichen Duster

Quince & Co

Pottery

Mixing Clay Bodies

“ceramics & cyanotype”

“polycrylic on pottery“

History of Printed British Pottery

Bespoke Ceramic Transfers

Where to Start with Glaze Making

UK Travel

Lulworth Cove

How Stean Gorge

British Wildlife Centre

Portland Stone Quarry Sculptures

Red House, William Morrison (near London)

Lyde Garden

US Travel

Maryland Renaissance Faire

NW Arkansas

Meme’s Caribbean Flavor Food Truck

Words

recrudescing

tressoire

floriferous

inglenook

Breadcrumbs

“idris welsh mythology”

“monty don sensory garden”

“tomy tutor typewriter”

“forest pansy”

“starling”

“timorous beasties”

“arkansas land of opportunity”

“single gender worlds in fiction”

“valentino crochet”

“kew suffragettes tea pavillion“

“Art is how we decorate space, music is how we decorate time." - Jean-Michel Basquiat

“voltaire tend your own garden”

“electrodes wet wood”

“fiction vs nonfiction book sales stats”

“sci fi vs fantasy book sales stats”

“wardenclyffe”

“specialisms” - isn’t this better than “special interests?”

“autigender”

“I am from” poem structure

“How to make clear bioplastic?“

Inclusivetherapists.com

“plato meritocracy”

Artists, Makers & Educators

Robert Burns

Heath Robinson

Mary Jane McLeod Bethune

Sam Metz

Wandering Blacksmith

Sally Dennis

Down the Rabbit Hole

Stop Motion, 2018

A Year of Making - 2021

Looking back on my year of making.

The new year promised a fresh start after the struggle of 2020 (even if it was mostly symbolic.) I also had a brand new studio, and some time to myself each weekday as Davy started Montessori. These new supports made a huge positive impact on my mental health this year, and they gave me more time for making.

My experience of time is not fixed. Time expands and contracts based on when and how often I engage with my interests. So when I write and make time feels expansive. When I don’t it crushes in on me and feels very suffocating. This is one of my biggest struggles as a neurodivergent artist mama.

This year I’ve swung wildly between those two feelings.

Currently I’m in Mama Bear sick family survival mode so it kind of feels like I never made anything and never will again. Thankfully I drafted this blog post last week. I started it for my patrons to show what types of work they supported this year, but decided to share it here.

Learning how to navigate fractured time has been a huge theme in my work these past two years. I certainly didn’t make something every day, but looking back I made so much more than I did in 2020. This is largely due to pivoting to whichever project I had the bandwidth for in that moment.

Here is my year in review. Everything I completed, started, and abandoned. (This list doesn’t include ongoing projects like journaling, Patreon, baking, or holiday crafts.)

Completed

Studio Vlog, Tour & Self Portrait

Sourdough Starter

Studio Sign

Mother, Interrupted Weaving

Updated Kindle Deck

Wicker Chairs

Messy Middle Podcast

Tunic Top (Pattern Drafted & Prototype Sewn)

Kindle Zine

Cyanotypes

Studio Loft Beanbags

Painted Front Door

Shire Collection: Autumn Pottery, Prints, Weaving & Gift Items

Ecosystem Retreat

NaNoWriMo

Fireplace Makeover

Works in progress

Textile Collage

Corn Popper Animation

Chronofile

Soft Sculpture Brain

VR Environment

Sky Weaving

Ecosystem Book

Maker Mama Manifesto Book

Fiction Novel

Cross Stitch Piece

Dry & Press Flowers for Pottery

Pottery Brooches

Pottery Test Tile Display

Fails

Hobbit Meal Clock … disappointing paint job. 😩

Planner Stickers … returned malfunctioning Cricut. 😡

COVID Burnout Guide … not enough entries. 😞

Pottery Wax Seals … not functional. 😐

Sunflower Leaf Platters … cracked during firing. 😭

100 Days of VR … ended at 17 days. 😈

MAYBE NEXT YEAR

Some of the projects I started planning or bought supplies for, but haven’t begun yet.

Papermaking (maybe Patreon bookmarks)

Polaroid Transfers

Ceramic Cyanotype

Electroforming

Collage Landscapes

More Tunic Tops

Linen Duster

Blue Jean Quilt

Self Publishing (!)

There’s always more. 😉

Shout out to my Patrons for funding my multipassionate meanderings. Y’all are the best! 🥰

Top 5 Photography Tips

Photography has been a special interest of mine for decades so I often take what I know for granted. Many moons ago I was even a wedding photographer. 🌙

I was asked this week for my top 5 photo tips so here they are!

This is a collaborative post with Claire from Creatively Conscious born out of our connection in the depth of winter 2022 in content creation. You can check out Claire’s content on Instagram here.

1. Light is magic.

The most important thing to know about photography is the camera uses light to make an image. The root words of photography actually mean drawing with light. You can get really geeky into the science if you want to, but its basically magic. ✨

My secret tip is to use a bouncer. They don’t make this one anymore, but you could make one yourself with two pieces of foam core and white tape. I use this when there isn’t quite enough light in the studio.

You could also use this to bounce light from a lamp if you don’t have a window nearby. It’s great during the dark wintry months.

2. Let in the Light

Yes, this is a second tip about light. 😂

That’s how important it is. This tip is how to let the light in to your camera.

Most of us are shooting on our phones these days. They’re an amazing piece of tech we always have on hand. I have several expensive cameras and only fall back to them when I want to do something my phone can’t.

Here is how to let in more light using an iPhone. Apple makes it really easy.

Tap the screen and this box with a sunshine appears.

Swipe up for more light. Or swipe down for less light.

You can swipe multiple times. This is telling the camera how much light to let in.

Congrats! You’ve just learned how to change exposure. (If you’re using another phone just search for your model and “adjust exposure.” )

If you’re using a dSLR you do this by changing the aperture. Don’t let the fancy words scare you - its just another way of saying “let the light in.”

These cameras are smart. I know how to shoot on manual, but I usually prefer Aperture Priority. You set the aperture (how much light gets in) and the camera computer chooses the best shutter speed.

If you want to give it a go turn your camera dial to A. Then have play with the aperture and take some test photos. The smaller the aperture number the more light you let in. Try taking the same photo with 3 different aperture settings and compare them afterwards.

With practice this becomes muscle memory just like swiping the sunshine on your phone.

3. The Power of Three

Sneaking in a Charmed reference as I continue the magic theme here. ✨

This tip is about composition. It may seem obvious to center the subject in the frame. Square cropping on Instagram grids especially lend to this. It’s not wrong - I even do it myself sometimes.But using an off centered composition can add interest.

The rule of thirds is a great way to play with this.

Imagine a landscape. You could run the horizon through the center of the image. Or to make it more interesting you could make it 2:3 sky. Or 2:3 ground.

Here’s an example from my feed. For this image I chose 2:3 sky to really highlight the morning mist. You can also see how the tree has landed on one of the cross points. This comes intuitively after a while. Its not the only way to compose a photo, but it can help you break away from center.

4. Less is more

A lot can be done to help a dark or dull photo in editing. Everyone has a different editing style. I like to brighten photos, but keep them looking natural.

So my tip is to play with editing filters, but bring them down from 100% so they are more subtle. You can do this on Instagram by tapping the filter and then tapping it again to bring down the slider.

Then tap edit to adjust exposure, contrast, and warmth. And these tools are right there in Instagram.

I also use the VSCO app to edit photos. You can see some of my favorite filters below. The AL series are great for balancing skin tones. I tend to use the same set of filters for a consistent style.

5. Get in the Frame

Lets face it… I became a photographer because I’d rather be behind the camera than in front of it. (Who’s with me?)

But people like to connect to the human behind the social media account.

If you’re feeling awkward you can build confidence by photographing just your hands or feet. Then try a pose looking away from the camera or photograph yourself from behind. Hide your face or peek around something. This is how I started (see my university “self portrait” below) .

Over time I’ve become more and more comfortable in front of the lens.

Need some inspiration?

Scroll the hashtag #selfiesforintroverts or @me_and_orla’s gorgeous feed for ideas. ✨

I hope these help you out!

Now hop over to Creatively Conscious to find Claire’s tips. 💕